Student from Lit Mag club: Ms. Sheridan, could we do a club with a more mature angle?
Me: That depends on what you mean by “mature.”
Student: Like, could we have an Erotica Appreciation Club??
Let’s all take a second to imagine what that club proposal would look like.
Student: I want to blow up the world today.
Me: I’m sure it’s not that bad.
Student: [blah blah blah] and my fiance..
Me: What? You’re engaged?
Student: You know her.
Me: Yeah. I knew you were dating a student here I just didn’t know you were engaged.
Student: Uh, yeah. We’ve been engaged since the 10th grade.
Gearing up to start another school year as a Spinster. I’m thinking my strategy this year might to be wear a fake wedding ring and photoshop a man into powerpoint pictures to convince the kids I’m married and avoid any offensive commentary.
But then what would I blog about?
Comprehensive sex ed can help very young adolescents be “guided safely through this life stage,” according to a new study.
Depending on a dog’s upbringing and genetics, they can make amazing companions for new families. Despite their sometimes fearsome appearance, larger or even giant dog breeds can make especially good family friends, loving and protecting your children as their own. And, as this list illustrates, they look absolutely adorable together!
[Back to hotel after family trip to the BBQ place in Tennessee]
Mom: How did you get sauce all down the side of yourself?
Me: I just don’t know what to tell you, Mom. I’m not a graceful lady.
Mom: That’s not true. You used to be graceful. You should’ve seen your Pre-K Ballet recital!
Me: That’s not true. You’re just biased because you’re my mother.
Mom: No. It’s a willful choice. It’s the same thing that makes you not wear a bra to the airport.
Research shows that couples who think they were made for each other fare worse long-term
Part of my summer job is to help assistant teachers plan a lesson, observe it and then provide feedback. One of mine has decided to do a lesson on electrical circuits where the kids use a lemon to power a light bulb.
Me to Target Employee: Do you guys sell alligator clips?
Employee: You mean the kind for you hair?
Employee #2: Or do you mean like, for handbags?
Me: No… for circuits. Like batteries and stuff.